


Falling in love is like breathing

by Thea_rainbow



Category: Sorted (Website) RPF
Genre: Domestic Violence, Falling In Love, M/M, Multi, not between ben/mike
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 18:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5977120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thea_rainbow/pseuds/Thea_rainbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Months and years went by and Ben fell in love so many times and so many times his heart was broken from people with sometimes a soft, sometimes a harsh no or even no answer at all as they all turned their backs on his heart. Falling in love was like breathing to him, an easy deep breath in and a deep breath out and a new heart was right there, in his chest, beating for another person that just stumbled into his life, creating craters between his rips as it was ripped out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling in love is like breathing

**Author's Note:**

> bc i do that and its horrible and i can't wait to find someone who isn't going to break mine.

Falling in love is like breathing

To me

* * *

 

When Ben was 5, his chubby fingers tried to braid long brown hairs he fell in love with when he spied them on the playground. Into every strand he pushed his heart; into every twist of his fingers he breathed adoration. His heart was broken when her voice cut through his daydream and suddenly she was gone, running away crying. Leaving him alone with the ghost of the sensation of burning pain in his chest. He felt sick and asked what happened.

They told him it was love he felt. So young and already so old. With emotions heavier than any bucket he could carry.

When Ben was 12, he noticed a boy, beautiful eyes, a smile wider than the ocean and a head full of ideas. The moment their eyes met over the cafeteria table, Ben felt he had lost his fast beating heart to green eyes that turned stormy angry when Ben told him and those lips that carried this beautiful smile turned sharp and left him with his own bleeding heart.

When he was 13, a girl robbed his heart. Long blond waves over her shoulders, crooked teeth under full pink lips and warm skin as they held hands on the way to their classroom. Their first kiss made fireworks explode below his skin but it left him lost and without deep blue eyes as the girl ran away, leaving him alone on the bench they just sat on.

Another broken heart was collected and stored away in his mind.

But not even months later, a new heart started beating in his chest and he gave it right away, into unwilling hands that threw it rather to the ground than keep it save in petite hands and long dresses.

Months and years went by and Ben fell in love so many times and so many times his heart was broken from people with sometimes a soft, sometimes a harsh no or even no answer at all as they all turned their backs on his heart. Falling in love was like breathing to him, an easy deep breath in and a deep breath out and a new heart was right there, in his chest, beating for another person that just stumbled into his life, creating craters between his rips as it was ripped out.

He had a room inside his mind, filled with those broken hearts. Always freshly bloomed in his chest for each new love, now split in half, smashed like glass on the floor or torn apart by brutal hands. One was given back to him gently, a kiss on his cheek accompanied his bleeding heart shoved in the darkest corner of that room.

With 22, he met a man, black hair brushed back to expose glinting grey eyes and a soft smile. And Ben could feel that heart in his chest triple in speed and he knew he had lost another one to a man in a leather jacket and ripped jeans. And when they kissed on the couch, Ben in the man’s lap with his arms wrapped around his waist and hands cupping his ass, he felt like maybe he could keep his heart save, could keep him save and sound. 

The first punch was unexpected, throwing him to the floor with force, leaving him breathless and bloody, speechless even though he was trying to make a point just seconds ago. Soft hands followed, scooping him up and pressing him against a chest with a heart beating in it, with his close by.

“I am sorry. I didn’t mean it. I love you.” He believed him then, too dazed by the rush of love he felt in his whole body. His heart was somewhere save. Finally someone wanted it more than just to throw it away or to decorate their life with other broken hearts like trophies on their wall.

He stayed. And even as one punch turned into full on beating, Ben stayed. And as he was driven to the ER to check on his broken collarbone from the last fight they had, he still stayed. His heart was save. He was loved. Why would he go?

All the pain vanished as he was pulled closer against a familiar heartbeat, knowing that one thing didn’t ache and was in pain. For the first time in his life.

He realized his heart was never save with this man as he saw the keeper of his heart fuck into another man, who over and over yelled the name of the man Ben trusted his heart to.

And another one was stored in that overflowing room. It was getting darker in the room. Light barely breached through the pain clouding the air.

With 24 years, he fell for two people at the exact same moment. When blue eyes lit up after one of his bad jokes and sparkled as the man looked into another face and it radiated back in the smile the woman smiled.

And as hands reached out to draw Ben into their bubble, he already gave two newly bloomed hearts away, leaving an even bigger gap between his rips than the others before.

When their fingers touched, it left him breathless and Ben thought his heart was breaking already, but when they wrapped around his hand to hold him and pull him even closer, he was lost. He felt so loved, he felt so save as two bodies curled around each of his side, covering him in their warmth as kisses were pressed along his skin, leaving lightning rushing through his bloodstream into his chest where two heart beats joined to their owners rhythm.

The first word of love was bought to him by tiny words, wrapped around kissing lips as they sneaked into his mind, into his body until the room he kept so full of broken hearts vanished to make room for those beautiful words.

With 28 the names of the keepers of his heart were written over his chest into his skin, in all colors dripping into each letter, leaving no meaning behind, letting them know that their hearts were safe in his hands, in his chest.

Neatly written over the scars so many left was now _“Mike and Kristy”_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> and like always  
> my darling beta [saskia](http://www.littlegrayfishes.tumblr.com)  
> [my blog](http://www.luvemishacollins.tumblr.com)  
> and our benxmike [blog](http://www.benxmike.tumblr.com)  
>   
> 


End file.
